It seems like your wife had an affair or at least some sort of romantic/physical relationship while still married to you.

Some key points from the text are:

1. She was instant messaging her male coworker throughout the day, including sending and receiving personal things like songs and videos.

2. They ended up going out for drinks together one night when their coworkers were gone.

3. A few days later, he bought her an expensive bottle of wine.

She claims that it's just a friendship between them but given all these actions, I think there might be something more to it.

You've also mentioned some other things like how she became friends with another male coworker at her new job who is mid-40s and older than you. It seems like this pattern of hers could indicate that maybe she's attracted to men in general or has a problem staying away from them, especially when they're married.

You've also mentioned your own jealous tendencies sometimes but I think it's understandable given everything happening around you. Maybe try talking things through with her again and see what really happened?

Resdit hotwife text